What Skills and Attitudes Lead to a Successful Life?

This is an essay I wrote today as part of my application for the University I want to attend next year. The requirement is between 400-500 words, and it came in at 470 in this first draft. Any comments, advice, or proof reading would be most appreciated.
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What Skills and Attitudes Lead to a Successful Life?

I've thought long and hard about this subject. I've written down a long list of answers to the titles question. I can hear my late father telling me to set goals. Close friends tell me hard work is the answer. Though I agree wholeheartedly with them, I have my own posits.

As I've grown older I have begun to question exactly what defines a "successful life." I've come to believe that material success can be a hindrance in some cases as it can foster greed, jealousy, and a separation from our fellow humans. In my opinion success can be defined as the ability to live within your own mind with peace and tranquility, accepting the causes and conditions we face in life with equanamity and mindfulness.

Listening with and open mind to peoples ideas and points of view, even if one does not necessarily agree with them can teach patience and compassion. To put oneself into anothers pair of shoes can build an understanding that can transcend words and forge friendships and alliances.

By facing my own fears of failure is an opportunity to gain insight into how I react to life's setbacks and can lessen my own anxiety. By simply acknowledging the fear I can take away some of its power. Failure itself presents occasion for me to examine where I went wrong and make corrections. And can also be a wonderful exercise in humility.

One of the most important attitudes I believe one can have in life is the willingness to be of service to others and the community at large. The concept of giving ones time and effort without asking for anything in return is an extremely gratifying experience. To be in the trenches, sharing another persons pain, helping them to deal with that pain, helping them to persevere over their suffering helps me to find redemption. To quote the Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book, "Self seeking will slip away..."

I do not want to detract from hard work, enthusiasm, being positive, being ethical as these are excellent traits to have and if applied, will help a person get far in life. But, I believe deep down inside that one must question their motives for the path they choose to follow. Is one being self serving? Deceitful? Thinking only of them-self and what they gain from life? Or are you giving? Honest? Thinking of what you can contribute to the stream of life? These are a few of the questions I ask myself all the time. Usually I will think about how they fit with the first four concepts of the Eight-fold Path: Right View, Intention, Speech, and Action. I am grateful that I am not "perfect." I fall short all the time. I am a work in progress.